February 12, 2008

I Rather Like Girls

I'm training with a figure competitor this week who can crank out dips and pull-ups better than most men. It's inspiring. (That's her above with Jamie Eason.)

I haven't trained with anyone for a long time. I just get better workouts by myself. . . until now. If you haven't had a workout partner in a while, then I'd suggest finding an athletic figure competitor to train with. Beats some hairy, smelly dude any day.


Mr. Jones and Me

I drink maybe four or five diet sodas per year. Then I tasted Jones Sugar-Free Black Cherry. Wow, this is good stuff. Even better on ice mixed 50/50 with Spike Shooter. Try it!


I Killed a Fat Nurse

So I'm at the doc getting a checkup the other day. I'm sitting on the examining table with my shirt off when an overweight nurse walks in. She sighs and says, "Oh God, I hope you're not one of those bodybuilder people who eats a lot of protein and no carbs. You know, an Atkins dieter."

Before I could say anything she said, "Well, I hope you know that Dr. Atkins died from eating like that. It's not healthy!" Her chins practically jiggled in self-righteous indignation.

Now, I try to be nice to people in possession of needles and other sharp objects, but I couldn't let that one pass.

"Actually," I said, "Dr. Atkins slipped on an icy sidewalk, cracked his skull open, and died of complications from the subsequent coma."

She looked dumbfounded for a second, then simply said, "Oh."

Then I shanked her in the neck with a tongue depressor.

(You know, in my mind.)

I could rant for 5000 words about how wrong that situation was -- an overweight medical professional giving out false info (which was spread by the PETA wackos' fake physicians group) to a healthy patient, but I'll withhold.

And what's up with all these fat nurses? And smoking areas outside of hospitals, which are used mainly by the STAFF? And doctors advising again fat-loss supplement usage then prescribing medications with ten times the side effects and half the results?

Oy vey.

Now I don't claim to know what happened, but did he have heart conditions before his fall from his diet ideas? Even if they didn't result in his death. Any information on this? Thanks

My wife was in hospital for a few days recently and I just loved walking past all the patients in their dressing gowns with IV drips hanging out of their arms sitting in the smoking area. I mean FFS, why do they put the smoking area right next to the main doors where everyone has to walk past and breath ein their foul stench? If they're well enough to go outside for a cigarette they're well enough to walk another 20yards away from everyone else. In fact if they're that well, they should just fuck off and go and waste their own money and not my fucking taxes that are used to pay for the fuckers!

RANT OVER, but I get really pissed off at people who are supposedly unwell and still have the audacity to smoke and especially when they do it rightin front of me. It's like they're waving a big red rag!

I ditched two doctors before I finally found one that doesn't spew nonsense. I actually had a doctor advise me before a trip to southeast asia, "Don't have sex with anyone that is not from here (read USA)" Yeah like people "here" don't have STD's. This same Doc thought the fish oil and olive oil were "basically the same thing"!

The point is how many people interview their medical professionals before taking their advice?

From what I remember, it was just the post mortem report that included the fact that when Dr. Atkins died, he had a higher than normal level of cholesterol. I could be remembering things wrong though...

i dunno how it is in USA, but in Sydney the hospitals are very understaffed. Once i had to get a lumbar puncture done, and the pricks got a medical trainee (i didnt know then) to do it. Poked me 5 times, the last one he hit a nerve in my spine which made my leg go numb for 40 minutes...

Well, saying that DO's are better than MD's is absurd. There are shitty doctors everywhere you go, be it an MD or a DO(Im around doctors all day and Ive seen all sorts, but those that I can complain about make up about 5% of them... if that) . The biggest difference is that the DO program is a joke to begin with. Saying a doctor cant tell the difference between an artery an a vein is news to me because I wouldn't have made it past anatomy in my first year without that knowledge! It could be though that I'm fortunate enough to not be studying in the US.

Back to the topic at hand, I do agree that having a fat nurse telling someone they're unhealthy is just wrong. But hey, the world is changing and fat is the norm, and of course everything else is just wrong.

Oh ya, smoking is bad, old news, whatever, blah blah... but as long doctors and nurses can promote abstinence from smoking and can promote a healthy lifestyle in the clinic then let them do whatever the hell they want. People just want to relax!

Wait... So is it okay to take this said figure competitor home after the workouts? And if so, will it effect my NEPA if i'm on the Velocity Diet?

Ya know, there might just be a good reason they call the medical profession a "Practice", just sayin'...

Ya know, there might be a reason why they call the medical profession a "practice", just sayin'...btw, isn't Jones the same company that makes a turkey and gravy flavored soda?

Is that chick's name Monica or something like that? I met her at a supplement store I was djing at a few months back. She's really cool.

Yeah that's it. I never would have thought that she would do figure and martial arts so I was impressed. Do you live in Texas also?

Ok, I take it back, what I wrote it my post was hearsay. If what you say is the case then I guess I was wrong. From what I heard it was kind of an isolated field, a similar path as dentistry from what I gathered. I mustve been misinformed.

Fat people are not green. They eat too much, which requires more agriculture to support their fatasses and agriculture is the biggest polluter in the country. They need too much fabric, thereby requiring more textile factories. Their cars get worse gas mileage and do more damage to the roads. They are a drain on our healthcare system and are much more likely to get diabetes, which leads to more dirty syringes.

They fart and shit too much which releases more human waste into the environment and more methane into the atmosphere. Fat people should be eliminates with an aggressive taxation policy and a society-wide discouragement of their laisez-faire attitude toward our environment and global warming through extremely psychologically damaging ridicule. Physical abuse should not go unconsidered.

Just started reading through the Hammer postings and thought i'd hit on this old one.

Never been a lean guy, but an athlete.. anywho.

I go to my normal doctor after I hurt my hip squatting. At this point I was competing in PL'ing in college. The doc... 150+ pounds overweight told me "You're not playing football you should lose some weight" coupled with "You should lift less weight and you won't get hurt"

Yes, thank you for your wonderful assessment.