Sloshing Pillar of Pain
by Dan John
10/04/07

We know what you're thinking — just add "pink" to the title above and you've got yourself one heckuva' porn title. But you're off the mark. This pillar is 9 feet, 4 inches long, weighs 38 pounds, and will kick your sorry butt.

Thanks for sharing this idea with us DJ. Sounds like something I want to try out soon

Thanks for sharing.

I will def try this one out.

Is there a way to construct a similar contraption that would be easier to transport in a car, etc.? For example, if you make it 6 instead of 9 feet, do you need to increase the diameter of the pipe to get the same slosh effect? what do you recommend?

The slosh pipe is an awesome idea.

What an excellent idea. I love the change of pace training ideas that you come up with Coach. Thanks for sharing.

Very neat.

The Slosh Pipe reminded me of the scene in "Caddyshack" with Bill Murray talking about his special "hybrid" grass.

Slosh Pipe: You can get great workout, then when you're done, you can smoke it.

I didn't realize so many puns could be made from one term.


To help inspire you for your first Slosh Pipe workout:

Be seated.

Patton salutes during 'Ruffles and Flourishes'. Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung.

Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time.

I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy.

We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere.

That's all.

Cool! I was actually in the process of obtaining the items to make something like this. However, I was going to make them smaller diameter. Now, I'm motivated to make a 'Big Boy!'

Great subtitle on the Mongo picture.

Thanks, I now know how to transport my javelins and poles to the decathlon meetings undamaged !
And yes, one side glued shut only.

It reminds me of the World's Strongest Man event where they had to press kegs full of shot and water. It was back when Ferrigno competed. They sure weren't pressing as much as they could with a bar! And you could see every muscle straining to balance the things.

I'm surprised Dan John didn't give himself more credit with WHY the slosh tube is probably so hard. I can only imagine that because of the huge length of the tube your body must resist a pretty huge amount of torque that's generated by the tube.

I wish I had space to store one.

I immediately made a slosh pipe when I returned home from discus camp and brought it to our summer conditioning program at the high school I teach at. If you've ever been around high school aged kids you can relate to the reply they gave me.
"This will be easy."

All I told them was it weighed 35-40# and they had to pick it up and walk from point A to point B. I then stood back and watched.

The first one to try it was laughed at by the others because he did look like he was wrestling with python. (I watch National Geographic Channel that's how I know and I know and trust coach Pain, why I don't know?) Each kid tried after and again was whipped by the pipe.

They begged me not to bring it again and I left it there for the remainder of the summer. We used it every Friday with our strongman training and at least one other day per week. By the end of the summer the kids where getting better and stronger with the use. I love it and look forward to what Coach Pain brings next year.
It's amazing what a man thinks of when drinking beer and eating cheez-its.

I also used the heavy gage PVC because of the chance of dropping "sloshy" It holds up better.

The Vermont Tree Tapper

Is it a 4" diameter or a 6" diameter pipe that you used to create the 38 pounder? Hard to tell from the pictures.

I like the idea. I thinking of using anti-freeze or RV fluid or the water will be like a rock in a month or 2 here....

The slosh pipe is perfect for a backyard workout and then a BBQ!

Jeremy Frisch

Hey Dan, Might have already been asked but did you use the 4 or 6 in. pipe to get the 38lb. weight?

DOS

At school, I use the four inch. I can't seem to find six inch end caps...